The wanting

Have you ever wanted something so badly that the inside of you ached?  You thought about it, turned directions and thought about it some more, and no matter how many ways you headed, it still was impossible to have that thing?  No matter what it is, a person, a thing, a feeling, an achievement, it's so hard to let it go, for the wanting, isn't it?

I want this thing so badly.  It's so close to being mine that I can almost taste the flavor of my possession of it and yet, it's as far away as it can be from me.  It would be perfect for me and at the same time, it could be a disaster if this thing actually happened.  So close, and so incredibly far away.

The thing has teased me with its promise that it will be mine but I think that's exactly what it is, a tease.  And boy, do I hate those!  The anticipation!  The desire!  The lack of satisfaction that goes on and on! The frustration!

Gaaa!

I wish I could tell you what this thing I want is but somehow revealing it could make the wanting even worse because then I'd have YOU wanting it for me.

I feel like Dwight on "The Office" finding out I'm not going to be made manager.

Sigh